Twenty Minutes
by Humor In A Bittersweet Life
Summary: Martin's POV ... He needed Twenty Minutes to save a life! Chapter 3 Sixty Minutes to hail a cab. This chapter is slightly rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I have no claim to WAT/ I'm just writing for Fan Fic Fun**

**This is my first Without A Trace FanFic. Let me know what you think. **

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**20 Minutes **

**Martin's POV**

Twenty minutes. Is that what a life boils down to? Trading twenty minutes for a job promotion? I'll let this life slip away and this life live and maybe just maybe, I'll become the Assistant to the Assistant to the Director of the FBI. I hope you can sleep at night Special Agent Medina … _Clark_. I know that tonight … I won't. Ariana will haunt my dreams … twenty damn minutes. I missed her by twenty damn minutes. I wanted him to know that. I could have saved her, I should have saved her but he stopped me from doing my job. Would Jack have done that? I realize that Jack and I have had our problems from time to time but would he have given me those twenty minutes I needed to save a life?

I can't help but think back at my time with Sam. She has a beautiful son now. I was the one that wanted the wife the kids the house with the white picket fence and the golden retriever. I wish tonight of all nights, that I was going home to Sam and _our_ little boy, just to somehow forget about all the Ariana's. The Tom's, Sonya's … the Julie's and Maxwell's that we don't bring home. We don't forget … no matter who is waiting at home for us. I suppose that's why Jack's marriage failed. Those of us who care about the job and not the promotion can't decompress … even if we were going home to Heidi Klum.

It makes me wonder about my mother. How did she stay with that man? I love him, don't get me wrong but he_ is_ FBI. I'd like to think, I'm more than the job … if I had someone to love and prove that to. You could never tell with my father if he loved you or if you were under his command. That's just how he is, even with her. He would never hurt her, but as far as romancing her … not gonna happen. Romantic men are week men, "you have to show them who's boss, Martin." My poor mother. I guess she chose him and she stays with him. Was he ever a young Medina? Did he ever choose a little girl's life over a woman's life? Was it a white girl over a black girl? How about a white man over a young black woman? Could he have done something so despicable to move up a rung on the FBI ladder? Was it by twenty freakin minutes?

I can't stop my brain from running wild. My father can be and is a prick. That being said … I love him … he's my dad. I need to call Danny, I know I do, I haven't felt this way in a long time, I need to go to a meeting. I need to talk about Ariana but I could use a Percocet and wash it down with a beer and forget about Ariana. What choice do I have? I'm an FBI Agent … tomorrow I have to do it all over again.

I wish I was going home to my wife and kids … my dog … but I'm not. There's a meeting that starts in twenty minutes … I won't miss that … I can't.

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**_Please let me know what you think ... reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading, Judeey _**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I have no claim to Without A Trace or their Characters**

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**30 Minutes**

**Martin's POV**

It took me thirty minutes to make it to my meeting, I must have passed five bars on my way. I decided to walk … think. That's why I was late for my meeting, I was thinking about Ariana. I can't shake it, this shook me to my core … is any of it worth it to me? The pain and suffering, the crying, and sometimes screaming family members … it's heart breaking, if you have a heart. I apparently do, because damn it, I want a drink and a handful of some nasty painkillers. I also want to get up and do my job to the best of my ability again tomorrow … without a trace of Special Agent Clark Medina.

The meeting pissed me off. I know the plight of the human condition but tonight it's all about me and I couldn't listen to this guy whine about his kids having no respect for him and his wife not putting out for him. Give me a friggin break man, there are people dying out there and you want meth because you can't get laid. This young chick got hooked on coke when she was in college trying to deal with and older smarter sibling. She could never be what her parents expected of her … she was a disappointment to them. She started partying all the time and got hooked. Tonight, she's bitching about her college debt. Her money went up her nose and she can't find a job to pay her bills. Normally … any other night … I might feel bad for her … not tonight. Then there's this mother of three … a junkie … she lost her kids. I agree whole heartily with that … she _shouldn't _have custody of her kids. Sometimes she comes to our meetings high … she's escorted out, usually with her sponsor by her side. Her problem tonight, she misses her kids … she's crying. That makes me cry a little … I don't let anyone see. Can you imagine Deputy Director Fitzgerald seeing his grown son, Special Agent Martin Fitzgerald, cry in public over a junkie mom … I'd be disowned! I think she really means it yet, if someone offered her some junk after the meeting … she'd take it. My problem tonight, besides the obvious … if someone offered me some junk tonight … I'd take it. I should have called Danny … I didn't … don't ask why, I can't answer that question. I can only say that I wanted to go to the meeting but I didn't want to go to the meeting, with Danny, I wouldn't have had an option. I'm here and not happy about it … but I'm here.

After thirty minutes of " the plight of the human condition," I left. It took me thirty minutes to walk to one of those bars I passed by on my way to NA. I sat at the bar and ordered a scotch neat. I stared at the glass in front of me pondering my next move. I realized at that moment that Ariana's life wasn't the only life that came down to twenty minutes. Did I need to find missing people only to find them dead? Have I done this too long? Did I give the best years of my life to the FBI? Did I lose out on the wife, kids, the golden retriever … the mini van and the white picket fence? I picked up the glass and brought it to my lips … that's when I saw her. I put the glass down … it was Ariana. It wasn't but it sure looked like her. Her face was burned into my memory. I knew she would haunt me in my dreams, that she would permeate my subconscious mind but here at Googie's in the West Village? I couldn't take my eyes off of her … I was staring. She started to walk towards me. I wanted to down my scotch and run … what an FBI agent I am.

"See something that you like?" _Great, a hooker._

"Sorry, sorry … you look familiar is all." I pick up my glass again and bring it to my lips.

"Darcy."

"Excuse me?"

"My name … It's Darcy and yours?"

She holds her hand out to shake mine and I'm grateful that her name is Darcy and not Ariana. I would have fallen off of my bar stool. I put the glass back down and shake her out stretched hand.

"Martin … It's a pleasure Darcy."

"May I sit and have a drink with you, _Martin_?"

"I'm not the best of company but I could sure use some." She sits on the stool next to mine and I'm compelled to interrogate _Miss Darcy _… it's what I do.

"So, Darcy, what do you do for a living." _Go right for the jugular._

"I'm a cop … FBI actually." She whips out her badge. I laugh … what are the chances of that happening? I whip out mine … my badge, that is. She stares at my badge and shakes her head in disbelief.

"I pegged you for a lawyer."

"Ouch, that hurt Darcy." She has a little girl smile … the kind that lights a Christmas tree.

"What unit are you with?"

"Violent Crimes. Missing Person's Division. You?"

"White Collar … Tech support. I'm kind of their computer geek. I don't mean to brag but I can hack anything … even your Xbox."

"Very cool. I started off in White Collar in Seattle."

"So did something go wrong at MPU … did you lose someone, I mean, I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound flip, did someone not make it home?"

I look at my glass again … still untouched. Darcy asked a question that she almost made me forget about … those twenty minutes. In the thirty minutes since I entered the bar, Miss Darcy has distracted me from the twenty minutes it took to lose a life. _Yeah, I have a heart_. Here I am looking at a woman that looks like the deceased and I'm forgetting about one of the worse days at MPU.

"I did lose someone … by twenty minutes." I look down and feel this enormous amount of guilt. I'm finding myself wanting to spend time with the Ariana look alike yet I'm forgetting about Ariana … does that even make sense? I should just down this scotch and go home, it's not fair to Darcy … the psychological implications of my actions … not that there's been any action … for quite some time I might add.

"Well, that just sucks Martin. _That was eloquent_. You should drink that drink and at least ten more."

"One's too much and a hundred's not enough Darcy." I raise my glass in a toast but I put it back down on the bar and shake my head. If I drink that, I'm going to look for a fix … I know where I can get percs or vikes … I'm still in the mood.

"Hey Martin, lets get out of here and go for a walk. I know New York can be scary at night but we _are_ two Federal Agents, I think we can handle it. If you're a good boy, maybe I'll make you a cup of tea at my apartment … after our walk, of course."

"Of course. Hey Darcy … what's your last name?"

"Murphy."

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**_Thanks if you've stayed with me ... let me know what you think about my first WAT Fic. I've written a few Law and Order CI Fics but I also love Martin's Character and have been thinking about writing one for him for awhile now. Please review and let me know if I've done justice to Martin's Character. Thanks for reading ... Judeey._**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: refer to chapter 1**

**Parts of this chapter are RATED --M--**

**CHAPTER 3 FIN.**

**Martin's POV**

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**60 Minutes **

Did she just say Murphy? As in Ariana Murphy? This night couldn't get any weirder. She looks like her but if she were related to her, she would be mourning her death … sort of but not quite the same as I am. I'll take that walk with her, have that cup of tea with her and if this is going to turn into a one night stand, take some comfort in her too.

We walked along Greenwich Village, her apartment wasn't too far from there. As promised, she invited me up for tea. We talked for awhile about the Bureau, our jobs and how different they actually were. I'm a field agent and she's a Tech Geek … that's the non- official term but the one she likes the most. We laughed about that and for the first time today, I smiled … no scratch that, today is now tomorrow, yesterday was twenty minutes ago and yesterday I needed twenty freakin minutes to save a life. The reality of that hit me again … again this woman, Darcy, made forget, for the briefest of moments, that I let a life slip through my hands yesterday. She broke me from my reverie with a kiss. I shouldn't let this happen, it's not like me but at this moment in time, it's what I need.

Sixty minutes later I was hailing a cab and headed up town to my apartment. We made love, if you could call it that. She straddled me on her couch and I started to remove her shirt. She went for my belt and I was on top of her pulling her clothes off after that. She pushed me off and went down on me. My head was spinning out of control. I stopped her and pulled her back on my lap and impaled her on my hardened member. She rode me like I was the last man on earth. I was throbbing inside her. She was nipping and kissing my neck, telling me how good I felt inside her and how hard I was … she was pushing me over the edge. She came, I came. I left. Sounds bad I know … I'm leaving out a part. I called her Ariana … I know … I need therapy.

The morning after felt like a hangover and to be perfectly honest, I wish I had one. Going into work to face Medina was not on my list of favorite things to do. Can you imagine my surprise to find Jack back at the helm? Good or bad, Jack built this team … it's a good team, even a great one. My father's flunky approaches me to warn me about Jack … I can't help but roll my eyes when I hear him call my name. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to talk to him. I want today to be the day that I move forward, yesterday I fucked up, or was that earlier this morning. I'm talking about Darcy … I won't and can't accept responsibility for Ariana's death, that's on Medina's head. So, Jack and I will have a talk. I didn't want his job and I don't want anything handed to me on a silver platter because of the elder Fitzgerald. If I move on to bigger and better things at the Bureau, I want it to be on my own volition … my own ability … but how am I to ever know that for sure.

I need to take some responsibility for what I did to Darcy … I need to clear _that_ Murphy from my head now, I'm really not that kind of guy. I sent her flowers, two floors up, with an apology and an invitation to lunch some day. She apparently put the flowers through the shredder and sent them back down in a box … with crime scene tape around it. Danny could not stop laughing. Hell, it was funny. I tried … I'll try again. I have friends in white collar, maybe they can unplug the shredder.

As far as life at the FBI goes. I am damn good at my job. As long as they'll have me, I'll keep doing it. Jack and I will be fine. We made it through the Samantha thing, we'll make it through this. I know now that I'm in a bit of a crisis, so I'll go to my meetings _with_ Danny and I'll be more understanding to my fellow addicts. Martin is still lurking inside … the good Martin … we all have a dark side. Medina brought out my dark side. He's gone … good Martin is coming back.

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**_Fin. Thanks for reading, reviews are much appreciated ... Judeey:)_**


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